. . . For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; . . . Lamentations 3:22b-23a (NASB)
While thinking about how hard the holidays can be for survivors, I began to reflect on how I've changed and grown, just over the last 12 months. In November of 2016, we had a family gathering at a hall, and although I was filled with anxiety leading up to the event, and even while walking through the front entrance, once I walked inside, I felt pretty-good.
Read MoreThen Peter came to Him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! . . .” Matthew 18:21-23 (NLT)
If I'm honest, I have to admit that part of me never intended to fully forgive the man who sexually abused me and stole my childhood innocence and sense of security and safety. I never fully intended to forgive the one who helped set me up for the abusers that followed. I knew the bible said I needed to, but, to be honest, I didn't really understand why.
Read MoreBut to me this is a slight matter that I am judged by you or by any man. I do not even judge myself. 1 Corinthians 4:3 (Aramaic Bible in Plain English)
Unwanted . . .Until recently, I didn't realize that had been my life-long perception of myself. And, in my mind, unwanted people didn't deserve forgiveness, even self-forgiveness. Unwanted people didn't deserve anything good. They wanted it, but they didn't deserve it.
Read MoreGrace be with you, mercy, and peace . . . 2 John 1:3a (KJV)
My definition of a regret is something that I would go back and change if I could. I distinguish that from a “mistake”, which is something I feel I have done wrong, yet been able to learn from, transforming it into something beneficial. I put the word mistake in quotation marks because I tend to be way too hard on myself, so I realize not everything truly qualifies as a mistake. But that is a post for another time.
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